A partial reform of a people-pleaser

In my early twenties, still a student, my neighbours
would pop in around ten minutes to nine in the
evening and ask me to babysit their kids.
They were just running off to watch a movie that
started in ten minutes.
It could be an evening I had to prepare for an exam,
or do a special written project for school.

As a people-pleaser I felt I could not destroy
the young couple's possibility to go to the movies.
I said nothing about how inconvenient it was.
I said nothing about that I needed the time for my studies.
I never suggested that it would be OK to babysit their kids
if they just talked about it early enough so that we could find
a suitable evening.
An evening that would be good both for them and for me.

Now, thinking back, I understand what difficulty
I have had to put my own interests first.
Most of my life.

Somehow this reminds me of the flight attendant's instructions :
If the oxygen masks fall down, put them
on yourself first, before helping others.
That includes helping your children with the masks.

So sometimes, now that I am trying to build a better
and healthier life,
I cannot be available when I feel I need some
special time on my own.

Most of the time I am still too much of a people-pleaser,
but I will have to discover the balance between
protecting my own interests and doing what also
gives me great pleasure.
Enjoying the company of others .
Helping other human beings.